Idle Hands
by Abel Quartz
Summary: Even though they're happily married, it seems that Steven and Connie still have some exploration to do - or rather, Stevonnie does! After taking care of themselves after a battle, Stevonnie has to answer some uncomfortable questions about their body, about their comfort, and what it means to have an intimate experience as a couple - minus the couple.


**Idle Hands**

* * *

Stevonnie wished that they had raided the armory years before, when their respective counterparts had not yet grown and they could have actually fit into the singular pieces instead of raiding the scraps. Thankfully, capes were one-size-fits-all. They smirked and pulled the burgundy hood off, shaking their mane free of the stray water droplets.

Underneath the waterfall, the gurgling of the jungle stream was muted and the sounds of the rest of the rainforest were more or less drowned out. Even the loudest birds couldn't penetrate the veil. There hadn't been too many stray gem mutants recently, and even less opportunity for a threat that could be soloed. As a married couple, Steven and Connie had their time alone domestically, but the rest of the Crystal Gems frequented their missions as a group. Alone together at last, it had been longer than Stevonnie would have liked to admit.

And it was almost over. The beast – a scuttling abomination with a deceptive camouflaging defense – had been stabbed, the gem bubbled, and now the only thing left to do was to tend to their bruises. Such was the life of a hero.

Stevonnie unstrapped the cape and removed it from their shoulders, tugging it away from the black curls that stubbornly clung to the fabric. The Japanese breastplate – _dou_ \- came undone next, uncovering the simple spandex underneath. The Roman gauntlets came next. All three of these pieces were laid on the flat rocks scattered around the cave.

It was almost straight out of a bad fantasy movie, if they were being honest. Almost all the rocks were smooth and rectangular, jutting out at various angles from the floor and walls like the world's most uncomfortable and most disorganized mattress outlet. Had it not been for the imperfections, the moss, and the multitude of natural attachments to this little cove, Stevonnie would have thought it to actually be an abandoned set. They certainly felt like they were getting out of costume.

But with their armor to the side, all that left them with was a plain long-sleeved undershirt and their jeans. Bare feet were the norm.

"What shoe size are we?" Stevonnie wondered, looking down at the shallow water. Even in the darkness of the cave, they could see the outline of their feet through the surface.

They shrugged it off. It was Steven's breadth that moved their shoulders, but Stevonnie's grace that sat them down on the largest slab. Connie's practicality moved to spread the cape out like a blanket so that they weren't sitting on the cold rocks. A simple tug made it just like a picnic cloth, sci-fi domesticity, an alcove of magic and suburban vibes.

From the backpack, Stevonnie brought out an electric lamp, small enough to light the whole of the cave. It was only fifty feet or so of jumbled slate before the cave ended in boulders. So tightly packed were the rocks that not even a drop of water could seep through. Had it been dug? Or was it a natural occurrence in this mountainside? The waterfall only gushed and gave no satisfactory answer.

"Oh! Right."

They had almost forgotten why they had taken a break in here. While the mystery and solace was, of course, nice, they had to take care of themselves first. Some tugging later, Stevonnie succeeded in removing their sweaty, uncomfortable undershirt. The jungle heat was unbearable even in the relative coolness of the cave, and it made the necessity of the armor onerous to say the least. Still, it seemed that it had been necessary, judging from the size of the bruise on Stevonnie's lower abdomen.

Stevonnie gently spit into their own palm and rubbed the tingling fluid on their belly, letting the Gem magic work its way from their inside and their outside at the same time. Blood vessels reunited, and in no time, the usual russet-brown had returned. Their skin was only broken by the black curls next to the injury, the traced triangle from gemstone to waistline.

Almost absent-mindedly, Stevonnie's fingers began to itch around the underside of the denim. There were questions that they had thought about, but had always been too nervous to say aloud. Home fusion hadn't been a necessity, and battle was the only place where things like this could be allowed to take place.

"Whose underwear is this?" they asked aloud, chewing on their lip thoughtfully as they started to undo their jeans.

A serious matter indeed. Their immature giggle mixed with the sound of the zipper and quickly faded into the same old echoing water. Something was wrong.

Stevonnie pulled their pants up and ignored all the sweatiness that plagued the inside of their clothing. "Nope. No, I…not happening," they muttered.

But why? The fused warrior paused as they stood, bare feet digging into the blanket. Instinctively, both hands came up to their bare chest, covering their nakedness. Stevonnie forced themself to breathe and focus on the issue at hand. They had always been comfortable together, and now, well – Steven and Connie weren't around, it was them, and they weren't unstable or unreliable at the moment. In the heat of their earlier scrap they had been focused on fighting, and all these uncomfortable physical attributes had been put aside. Solitude was not becoming to them.

Steven and Connie were married adults. Who was Stevonnie? What a ridiculous question. They had spent a lifetime figuring out what Stevonnie was, and they couldn't be boxed in in the span of a conversation. Words weren't enough.

"So let's talk." Talking to one's self seemed to help, even a little, and Stevonnie sat down with the hands on their knees.

"What were we even thinking of doing?" they asked. "Disregarding what's happening down there, pretty sure this is just masturbation. Right? But we're not one person, and both – and each part is getting this feeling. Of whatever it is."

Teasing in equal parts was the farthest that Steven or Connie had ever gotten to in polyamorous pursuits. Homebodies until the end, both of their minds were not prepared for the idea of another person coming into the bedroom. In order to get the full experience of this sexual exploration, Stevonnie knew they would have needed a second – third? – party. And the concerns surrounding that adventure were far greater than the possible benefits.

So was it just masturbation? Moreover, was that okay?

"I…I want to? I want to try."

They already knew why. Both of them had grown up as curious adults, an adventurous boy and an introspective girl blossoming into this future. The risks were negligible and Stevonnie's existence was only as lasting as Steven and Connie could bear being away from each other as individuals. This, of course, meant they were always unfused at the end of the mission; the two of them were human, after all.

Undressing was as fluid and rehearsed as they could muster under the circumstances, meaning that they nearly knocked the pile of clothes off once they stretched out, and as Stevonnie laid down they nearly bruised the back of their head on the rocks under the blanket. Unfolded and dripping with the jungle, the discarded garments sat in a heap, silent observers to this strange, magical person. Stevonnie wished the jungle heat could come in past the water's veil.

"I get the atmosphere," they muttered over the dripping rocks and burble, "but we could really use a space heater in here."

Their snort of laughter echoed down the short cave. As it came back, they felt how nervous it was and wished they hadn't heard it. But it was nothing more than another enemy to face, another thing to be conquered. Time to draw the blade.

Stevonnie started with touch. It reminded them of the first time they had fused, on the beach, when they ran a hand up their leg, feeling the peach fuzz. Now, the hairs were coarser, and their legs more muscular from years of training and battle finesse. Slender fingers tapped their thigh, pressing into the gentle layer of protective fat.

With their other hand, Stevonnie pressed into their belly and trailed upwards, always upwards, across their broad, bare chest. They were somewhat surprised to find minimal body hair, although a quick exploration downwards confirmed the happiest of happy trails, a perfect gradient of skin and black curls. Steven alone didn't have the hairiest chest in the world, but he had enough to feel. Subdued and smoothed, as Stevonnie reached from pectoral to pectoral, they marveled at the way that humans fused together. It was the median of lithe muscle and hulking nature, breadth with smoothness, Connie's tempered and well-maintained athleticism against Steven's untamed musculature and magical endowment.

Actually, speaking of endowment, Stevonnie grunted in bemused annoyance. It was going to have to come down to this sooner or later. Despite the utter disregard for their own physiology, it still felt uncomfortable to them to have to box their body into some sort of yes-or-no question. Their body was not a question – it was an answer.

"And who's asking, anyway?" they snapped to nobody in particular.

This internal back-and-forth was more anxious than curious. The fact that Stevonnie couldn't feel their own body was not a hopeful sign. It wasn't a numbness or a pain or anything alarming, but Stevonnie needed to be in touch with their own body, for combat, survival, and – most importantly – to stay together. Maybe this whole thing was more trouble than it was worth.

"I'm not a question," Stevonnie repeated to themselves. "I am an adult, I'm a body, I can do this, I just need to reach and – "

Their hands shook with exertion before the usual pink light lit up the cavern and scared all the moths and tiny frogs away from their roosts. Steven and Connie remained motionless on their blanket, each as annoyed and confused as another. In the dim light, their expressions were unreadable, but Connie could feel Steven's furrowed brow even in the blindest night. There were things she needed to say, wanted to express, but she needed a moment to contain herself.

"Talk."

"Connie, is this okay?"

She paused. "Well, what about this isn't okay?"

"I feel like Stevonnie just – not like – I mean, they're not definable," Steven finally sighed. "They aren't either one of us, and giving them our…parts feels…"

"Disingenuous?"

Steven snapped his fingers. That was the exact word.

"I understand. Now, don't take this lightly, but there is a middle ground."

"A 'middle ground?' That's what you're calling it?"

Connie shared his smile, but only for a moment.

"Dork, I said don't take it lightly. I sure ain't."

"Apologies, continue."

"So – yes. Stevonnie is more than a mishmash of our bodies. And they could shapeshift so that they can feel what they feel, and we'll feel it too. Right?"

"I'm listening?"

"Yeah, one hand on your chin and the other on my – "

Steven turned himself over on top of Connie and growled as he kissed her, forcing her obscenity to vanish under a wave of giggles and a tangle of his loosened hair. When he let up, looking down on his wife, there was a pause in the air.

"See, they're never going to feel this," Connie continued. "But that's okay. They don't have to. We can do this and make love – don't give me that face, you use that term too – on our own. But through Stevonnie, I can experience everything you do. And you can experience everything I do. Physically."

There were limits, of course, but Steven knew Connie was right. Truth be told, he had thought of shapeshifting himself to accommodate that kind of perspective, but he didn't know enough about anatomy to do it correctly. Besides, Freud himself would come back from the dead.

"So, like, we fuse and take turns?"

"Is two at once too much for you?"

"Connie, I have no idea how that would even work."

"There are people who do. But I don't really know any, and I know better than to go up to strangers and ask about what's in their pants."

"Right, that's your mom's job."

Connie mock-gasped and pretended to slap the giggle off Steven's face. As tongue-in-cheek as their little banter was, it seemed as though an agreement had been reached. The two sank back into the blanket and cozied up to one another. Steven leaned over on one arm and nestled Connie in the crook of his elbow. Before either of them could say what they felt, his lips were already pressed against his wife's, and she was parted just for him. The glow broke through their eyelids. Pinkness filled the cavern once more, and Stevonnie parted their lips with a sudden gasp. Transitioning from the kiss to their body left that taste there, and they savored the warmth still on their tongue.

One hand came to the chest once more. Those perfect fingers held on as the others journeyed to unzip and remove their pants and undergarments. Everything slid down, bunched up for the moment before they tossed their clothing aside. Naked, fuzzy and warm, Stevonnie began to touch themselves intimately for the first time.

"I love you," they whispered.

The hand that guided each stroke knew just how to please, inside and out. Stevonnie gripped their chest tightly, letting the body take in how it felt to masturbate this way. When Connie was back, could she understand? Could the feeling be – no, it was incomparable. Stevonnie's body felt enough for both of their parts.

One tight motion upwards brought precum in between their fingertips. They couldn't even tell how much time had passed since they had undressed and lain down. Either the body was more excited than they had thought, or they had been here for longer than they had imagined. Stevonnie took the liquid at the tip of their index finger, then ran it around in between skin and glans.

Stevonnie's legs shook for a moment. Their other hand slid down the body and over their belly, down to join the party. The warrior held their breath and traced the muscles of the groin, coming down, anticipating the weight beneath and the accompanying smoothness. But instead of pressing against tender glands, the fingers pushed, and found their way inside.

The body had found a way. Both of them had come together, and despite Steven's doubts, they had found the true middle ground. Stevonnie ignored whatever improbabilities had led them to this point and pressed farther. They arched their back and repressed an audible moan, their chin brushing against their collarbone as each finger spread and massaged the tender folds. Stroking was shakier, but faster, joined together with the penetration to ease Stevonnie towards climax.

Whatever had happened to that middle ground was gone. There was only love, and there was only sensation.

The cave's coldness was forgotten, and their entire body was bathed in dual orgasmic glow. Their gemstone concurred; the stone around them shimmered with pink shadow. It rarely happened when their bodies were separated, certainly not to this degree. The pleasure of both sensations, both members together at once, brought Stevonnie to a place neither Steven nor Connie could reach on their own.

Fluids were beginning to deep down between their legs and onto the blanket. Stevonnie's cock was dripping freely, as they had seen before in their edgeplay, and their fingers made perverse noises as they dug deep into their own pleasure. Their mind blacked out the complete lewdness of this display, preparing only for the equally messy finale.

It took a moment before the liquid rose from whatever internal controls Stevonnie had now to the surface. Stevonnie pressed their head back and grit their teeth, whining and growling as the first string of semen flew up past their chin and across their cheeks. Another shot went even farther, making a distinct splattering sound on the rocks behind them.

But at the same time, the warmth of the penile orgasm fused with the sensation beneath, and Stevonnie pressed their fingers deep inside, unable to hold back a cry of release. Deep warmth and contractions curled their fingers and toes. The rush came in a steady wave through the abdomen and up to their head, following the now-dwindling but very much productive lines of white all across their torso.

And then it dissipated. As soon as they had their bearings once more, the weight of orgasm had completed and left gently, like a masseuse's hands rising from within their muscles. The sweaty, sticky, and very much exhausted young adult panted as they caught their breath, not wanting to move their fingers for fear of making a larger mess than they already had.

Stevonnie puffed out their lips as they took a breath. "That was…"

They were talking to themselves. The water and frogs did not answer. Stevonnie shuddered as they pulled their fingers out, holding them up for observation as the others held on to the other organ.

While the sensations had been wonderful, there was still a sense of longing afterwards. If husband and wife had masturbated alone, each could look forwards to the other eventually. Stevonnie only had their own person. For sex, Steven and Connie felt differently. Stevonnie smirked, trying not to laugh at the cheesiness of the truth they were about to break out with.

"I miss you," they said.

Covered in semen and sweat, the utter weirdness of their heart did not come without humor. They snorted in laughter, shaking both hands off and trying not to get anything in their eye; the hair was already a lost cause. Who was going to inherit cum in their hair after unfusing? Stevonnie wanted to stand, to stretch, to wash off and get going once more. Already they could feel a strange sort of restlessness settling in.

They – the fusion – were not made for sex, at least not like this, not right now. It had been a fun experiment, but their human counterparts were too in love to not see each other. Someone like Garnet could stay fused, because that's how Gems were, perhaps. Not so the fickle love of human beings with idle hands. Steven and Connie's fusion was a different sort of love.

Stevonnie walked out into the waterfall. The icy chill was unpleasant at first, but the initial sensation made them smile and shudder. It didn't matter whether or not either partner retained the feelings of Stevonnie's body. They had trusted, they had talked, and they had tried, and now they were letting a torrent of jungle water wash them clean. Stevonnie loved themselves, but not like how Connie loved Steven or Steven loved Connie. They loved themselves, and they loved discovering themselves. Every discovery was an adventure.

Some adventures led them astray, but this one had led them to knowledge. Stevonnie hugged themselves as they imagined later each of them, unfused and in bed, their bodies warming each other against the Beach City night. They walked back into the cave. To the jungle life, they seemed to have disappeared for the moment. Only a mysterious veil of water remained of their image. Not a single insect knew where they might be next.


End file.
